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Are You an Introvert and a Military Spouse? You’re Not Alone

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Yet another mandatory family fun day and you’re feeling like it will be anything but fun. All those people that you just don’t know, loud music and friendly banter.

It sounds like a recipe for a terrible day for an introvert.

This is also the stereotypical picture of what it means to be a military spouse. Given how much we move, it can often seem like the best, and often only, way to make friends is to join in these large, loud events. Or to just show up with baked goods whenever a new neighbor moves in.

Are You an Introvert and a Military Spouse?

When you are an introvert, the social events and FRG meetings of military life may seem overwhelming.

Here are ways to find friends and socialize when you’re a military spouse who’s an introvert.

Find Your Peeps Online

Military spouse networks are popping up like daisies online! From blogs to Facebook to Instagram, there are so many fun people and groups to join or follow.

First, check out your base-specific Facebook groups. Sometimes these are secret or closed, and you may need to be approved by an admin. However, these groups can help you to navigate your duty station or to make new friends. From school and restaurant recommendations to the dish on what all those sirens were, base groups will give you all the information.

Next, check out blogs and pages that are service specific. For new spouses, you can learn a lot about traditions and customs. “Seasoned” spouses can share knowledge and help others. Everyone can get info on different duty stations or events, and even job opportunities!

Beyond branch of service and duty stations, there are Facebook groups for professional military spouses, spouses who blog, spouses who are attorneys and spouses who (fill in the blank). There are also tons of blogs covering all aspects of military life, from helping parents with K-12 education to parenting to everyday military life. Check it out!

Connect Offline Too

Once you join a few online groups, try to keep track of other people that have similar interests or that you have interacted with. You could both be commenting on the same posts, asking the same questions or live in the same neighborhood.

Send a private message to someone that you think might be a good friend for you. Chat online until you (or your friend) feel comfortable bringing up meeting in real life. Get together for coffee or go do something that both of you enjoy. It could be anything from cosplay to riding horses to sitting on the beach.

Use Friends to Make Friends

Once you have a core group of friends at your current duty station, try to find new friends through them. It’s a small world in the military. Chances are good that your friends will know at least one person at your next hometown. When you get orders, ask your IRL or online friends to help you make connections.

Or your friends might be able to expand your friendship circle where you already live. Take a chance and invite a friend of a friend to join you for coffee or drinks.

If you have kids, you can even use them to make new connections. Reach out to the parents of a good friend of your own child and schedule a play date or playground meet-up. A play date will have a specific end time, and you can get to know the other parent(s) over coffee at home.

Playgrounds are neutral territory and you can make an easy exit if things aren’t going well.

Alternately, you could keep the fun going or schedule another get together easily.

Check Out Specialty Groups

What do you like? Check online and on base for like-minded groups. There are groups for runners, bloggers, people of all religious faiths, book clubs and the list goes on.

You could connect online at first and then check out a group meet-up later.

Getting to know other people who share your interests can help you to connect with the military and civilian population. Plus, there will likely be similar groups at many bases. When you move, reach out to the local chapter of your group. You’ll be able to make friends more quickly and easily!

Socialize on Your Terms

Sometimes typical military spouse tasks are unavoidable, but you can make them your own. Try to volunteer or participate on your terms.

Offer to help with the children’s corner, organize donated items or bring items for a potluck. You’ll be helping out the unit and meeting new people, just in smaller doses. You never know if you might bond over sharing apple pie recipes or figuring out the best way to get care packages to deployed troops for the holidays!

Take a Break

Being an introvert, you value your alone time. Honor your needs and take a break when you need one. You could duck outside at a party or take a walk during a family fun day. Plus, it is not unusual at all for people to use their smartphones, so don’t hesitate to escape into Facebook for a little while.

If you simply don’t want to take on a task or attend an event, decline graciously or suggest an alternative. You shouldn’t be afraid to say no!

No matter how you choose to make friends, having a strong support network can be key to making the most of military life!

Are you an introvert? How do you find friends as a military spouse?

How the Federal Hiring Freeze Impacts Military Families

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President Donald Trump instituted a federal hiring freeze in January. Now, military families are feeling the effects of this executive order.

How the Federal Hiring Freeze Impacts Military Families

Have you been impacted by the federal hiring freeze?

How the Federal Hiring Freeze Impacts Military Families and Veterans

Impact on Base Services

Recently, 2 memos from different Army child care facilities have been released. The Child Development Centers (CDC) at Fort Knox and the Army garrison in Wiesbaden, Germany, have ended some of their child care programs due to staffing shortages. Both documents specifically cited the federal hiring freeze, combined with typical staff illnesses and normal staff attrition, as the reason behind the program closures.

In other bases around the world, military families are also seeing reduced hours and programs at their CDCs. Families in Okinawa, Japan, were told that hourly care programs will be suspended due to the hiring freeze.

“The CDC has stopped the drop-in child care,” shared Madalyn Sandstrom. “So now I have to look to friends, and hope for the best. The wait list for some age groups for full-time child care at the closest CDC is one year!”

The hiring freeze is affecting the DoD’s ability to conduct business as usual, according to a recent statement released by MCCS Camp LeJeune-New River. This will affect hours of services at this particular base as well as MCCS LeJeune’s ability to hire new staff members. Camp LeJeune is one of the largest Marine Corps installations. This statement could indicate impacts at other Marine Corps’ installations, as well as similar services at other military bases.

Military Spouses Face Hiring Delays

Military spouses are seeing an impact on their job opportunities. BreAnn Constantineau has had to suspend her federal job search indefinitely.

“I had started searching just before the freeze so that I could time my application to try and start a job once my kids start school in fall,” Constantineau commented. “Now with the freeze, I’m stalled. I’m also really concerned that once it’s lifted, the sheer volume of applications is going to put a real drain on the HR departments, causing even more delays.”

Spouses that were already in the application and hiring process have also had complications.

“I applied for the substitute teacher position back in October,” said Veronica Johnessee. “(I) finally got the call for fingerprints and background check the first week of January. (I) went for my fingerprints and the next day I was supposed to get the background check link via email. Instead, the hiring freeze was on the news. So now I wait.”

Johnessee’s hiring delay also impacts the students and teachers in the DoD Education Activity (DoDEA). Teachers may lack coverage to take sick days or attend professional development sessions. This means that teachers at DoDEA schools may feel obligated to work while ill. Due to lack of coverage, some non-core content area classes may be rescheduled or canceled to fill grade level classroom needs.

Military treatment facilities are also feeling the crunch from the hiring freeze. Some medical facilities are unable to hire new staff. Danielle Olmsted was in the interview process for a nursing position at Camp Foster’s Naval Hospital, but her hiring has been put on hold.

“I had an interview and was told at the interview that they wanted to hire me as a nurse,” explained Olmsted. “I knew I would have to wait awhile, since it already takes months to get someone hired and start working. Now, who knows how long it will be? I feel as though I’m in limbo, and I know the hospital can use nurses!”

Impact on Veteran Hires

According to the Washington Post, veterans make up 31% of the total federal workforce. Veterans receive preference for government positions.

With the hiring freeze, federal agencies and departments will now be unable to fill open positions. This could leave many veterans waiting even longer. The federal hiring process can take weeks or months to finalize under normal operating conditions. This is due to extensive background checks and paperwork processing.

Exemptions for DoD Positions

There are some exemptions in place to allow for normal operation in certain DoD positions and departments. Military personnel should not be impacted and child care positions are also supposed to be out of bounds as well. Firefighters and first responders, as well as intelligence personnel and positions having a direct impact on military missions, are also exempt.

However, there is not an exemption in place to hire people into the human resources department of the DoD. This could impact the speed of the hiring process for exempted positions and departments. As noted above, this could create backlogs for those who have already received job offers.

Have you been impacted by the federal hiring freeze? Tell us your story in the comments section.

Why Waiting Is the Hardest Part of a PCS

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Every 3 years or so it rolls around: the inevitable PCS.

The most predictable and hardest part of a PCS is the time spent waiting for the orders.

From the moment you realize that THIS is your PCS year to your final move-in day could be months. And that’s without factoring in unexpected changes like last-minute orders to a completely different location!

For military spouses especially, the PCS waiting game is hard.

Our lives depend so much on where our spouse is going next. From jobs to housing to schools for the kids, everything depends on where the service member ends up next. Plus, despite years of knowing otherwise, we enjoy planning the next phase in our adventure.

So, if you are dying to start house hunting or scrolling through job boards, here are 5 things to keep you occupied while you hurry up and wait for those orders.

1. Make a duty station bucket list

No matter where you are, CONUS or OCONUS, there are sure to be a few things that you never quite got around to doing. Make a final bucket list of cool things to see near your current home and start checking things off right now!

Hit up the local wine region, check out cool historical sites or explore the biggest city near you. Most places have festivals year-round that would be fun to swing through before you leave. Or grab a few unique souvenirs from local businesses.

2. Weed out your closets

We all have some clothes and shoes kicking around that we are never, ever going to wear again. No matter what. It could be any reason: size, way out of date or just not your taste.

Take the PCS wait time to really go through your things and toss anything that you know you’ll never wear again.

Don’t talk yourself into keeping something “just in case we move to _______.” Some things need to leave your closet, no matter the clime or place you move to next. I promise you will be able to find new, weather appropriate clothes at your new home. And if not, many companies will ship worldwide.

Ditto for your kid’s clothes. Those little ones grow like weeds, and before you know it you are hauling around pants that Junior hasn’t worn for 3 years.

Before the movers come, go through all the children’s clothing that you own. Yes, even the baby clothes that you have been saving “just in case.” Donate reusable items to charity or hand them down to another family. Trash everything else.

3. Downsize your stuff

Do you have picture frames that haven’t been seen in a few moves? Maybe a table that never quite seems to fit? Now is the time to toss or donate those things. Seriously, just do it. If you haven’t used it in about 6 years, chances are you probably won’t miss it when it’s gone.

For those with kids, I absolutely know that there are toys that go unplayed with. Get rid of them now. You know you want to do it! Plus, think about how much more space that will leave for other things on the moving truck. Things like your collection of shoes that you can’t part with or yet another bulky unit farewell gift.

4. Plan a farewell dinner or party

As the time gets closer, make plans to host a get-together with all your friends. This can be a great way to say “Sayonara” to your best buds, and to use those last items in your pantry or empty your liquor stash.

Get creative with the Pinterest recipes or DIY new concoctions. You can also use up the last of your propane or charcoal by grilling.

If, at the end of your pack-out, you have things left over that won’t move with you, a farewell party is also the perfect time to off-load those things to your friends as they leave. You could make a “take me” box for friends to pick from or you could create personalized goodie bags. It’s great for cleaning supplies, half used bags of flour or random craft things.

5. Organize your pictures

Along with downsizing, use your pent up energy to organize your photo files either on your computer or actual pictures. You could sort by location, by date or by person. Really, the options are endless!

While you’re in there, maybe you’ll finally get around to making those scrapbooks you’ve been talking about for the last few years. Probably not, but you at least thought about it. And that’s what counts.

Tell us how you spend your time waiting for PCS orders in the comments!

What the Military Community Wants from Washington

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Dear Washington,

Election season has passed, and a new administration is getting ready to take office. That means it’s time for you to take stock of our military capabilities, troops and their families. Yes, the U.S. military is a huge organization and encompasses so much.

However, please take a minute to listen to us, to me, to find out what we want and need from you, right now and for the next 4 or so years.

First, take a hard look at the budget.

Actually look at it with a critical, non-partisan eye. Is there a place where we could trim a little bit of fat without reducing force readiness and family support?

We know that this department has become a huge and growing part of the annual budget. And we also know that something probably needs to change. Please try to do this judiciously, cutting or reducing funding for the (many) redundant portions of the budget while preserving those parts that serve a major purpose in our lives.

We don’t want military funding at the expense of other services we depend on, like education and other programs that serve the general population.

We use these, too. We want them funded and functional.

Next, we need more than lip service about your support.

It’s all well and good to “support the troops” in your speeches and press conferences, but will you actually follow through? A great first step is making sure that our equipment is funded for proper maintenance. With this, include money for adequate training on the equipment. If you want troops ready at a moment’s notice, then they need to be able to access perfectly running equipment AND know how to use it.

Cutting corners here can lead to deadly accidents.

Our fighting force is now a family. That means spouses and kids who depend on the military for both financial and lifestyle stability. If you cut programs that help support military families, you will quickly draw our ire and disdain. This includes medical care, employment programs, child care facilities, commissaries and family readiness programs.

If you want the troops to be ready to go, the whole family needs to be prepared and supported. When those on the homefront feel unstable, that deployed service member can’t do his or her job well.

Don’t forget the veterans, either.

For years now, we have watched the endless saga of corruption and mismanagement at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Hospitals and VA health care facilities have endless waits, leaving many in the lurch. These waits have added extra stress to those suffering from mental and physical health conditions.

Take this department to task and shape it up. Get rid of practices or personnel that are costing lives every day and streamline the process to receive care.

Veterans wrote a blank check to our nation and were willing to sacrifice their very lives to protect ours. The very least we owe them is top-notch medical and mental health care when they leave service.

Help us connect with the other 99%.

About 1% of our country serves in the military. That leaves most Americans without a connection to our troops and their families.

In years past, the entire country banded together to support our troops through war bonds, rations and taxes. Right now, it seems that most Americans just don’t understand what it means to serve our country. Help us to show everyone else what it means to live this life.

Highlight our sacrifices, beyond just the feel-good stories about homecomings and the devastating stories of loss. Help people understand that we have been at war for over 15 years. This war isn’t funding itself.

Pay us what we are worth.

Have you checked on the salaries for our service members from top to bottom lately? Without the “luxuries” of the commissary and military health care, many families wouldn’t be making it financially. Even with these benefits, there are too many military families who qualify for WIC, welfare programs and food stamps. That’s unacceptable.

In addition, due to operational tempo and frequent moves, many military families are trying to make it on just one salary.

Pay our troops what they are worth, based on the work that they do for our country. And pay them without factoring in the “benefits” we all count on just to make it from payday to payday.

These are just a few thoughts, Washington. If you need more ideas, just ask.

MilitaryShoppers readers, what do you want from Washington?

From the Mountains to the Oceans, Your Favorite Military Bases

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Our team of writers shared their list of their favorite military bases and now it’s your turn. So many of you commented on that article and shared with us your favorite places that you’ve been stationed at that we wanted to write a second article about the best military bases around the world.

We’ve collected the highlights and would love to get even more feedback from our readers on this topic.

Your 7 Favorite Military Bases

Joint Base Lewis-McChord

With Army base Fort Lewis and McChord Air Base located so close together, consolidating was a great choice. By joining forces, both services are better able to serve everyone. Roberta Castile loved living there!

“You have a choice where to shop,” she commented.

Joint Base Lewis-McChord is located in Lakewood, Wash., on the Puget Sound and near Mount Rainier. With easy access to Olympia and Tacoma, military families stationed here have access to both the great outdoors and city life!

Travis Air Force Base

If you enjoy being in the center of the action, this might be the military base for you! Travis AFB is located in the greater San Francisco Bay area and close to Napa and Sonoma valleys.

Residents can experience the culture of San Francisco close at hand. Napa and Sonoma are some of the premier wine destinations in the United States and the world.

In addition, Travis is a passenger travel hub with Space-A transit available to many other locations around the world.

“(The) food is awesome and the sights are too numerous to mention,” commented reader Eric. “If you ride motorcycles like I do, they have some of the best backroads anywhere in the world!”

MacDill Air Force Base

Located near Tampa, Fla., MacDill is a beautiful place to spend a few years, or to retire! The base itself is located on land right in the middle of Tampa Bay, with access to the water.

This is also a center for Cuban culture and cuisine. If you like a little more adventure, theme parks are also close by. Outdoorsy types can play on the water and land, with almost endless options to stretch their muscles.

MacDill is also close to St. Petersburg, which is a top tourist destination. The sub-tropical climate means that you will never be too chilly. With an average of 361 sunny days per year, this is the perfect place to soak up some rays.

Yokota Air Force Base

Traveling overseas is a great opportunity for military families and Yokota AFB is the perfect military base to explore Asia. Starting close to home, military members can visit Tokyo and mainland Japan, including Tokyo Disney. There is so much to see, do and taste here! From eating traditional sushi and ramen noodles to learning about the culture of geisha to visiting ancient castles, your duty station bucket list will always be full.

If you want to go farther afield, it’s fairly easy to visit South Korea, Hong Kong and other Asian countries.

Fort Bliss

Fort Bliss, located in El Paso, Texas, is a hub of military activity on the edge of the United States. The US-Mexico border is only a hop, skip and a jump away! That means that you have access to amazing Mexican and Tex-Mex cuisine and culture.

Ciudad Juarez is right across the border in Chihuahua, Mexico and offers lots of great places to eat and places to explore. El Paso also has its own exciting locations to visit, like outstanding regional wineries and a world-class zoo.

Plus, the base has undergone renovations in recent years.

“The Freedom Village and the expansion of the base has made a big impact with the military and civilian community, offering a variety not found on other major installations,” commented Celio Quinones.

Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson

For those that like it chilly, Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson should be on your short list. Located in Anchorage, Alaska, this is a great place to connect with your adventurous roots.

Mount Denali is within traveling distance, as is Chugach National Forest. JBER is also located close to the water, although this bay will definitely be chillier than Tampa!

As an added bonus, living in Alaska counts as being stationed OCONUS, which means you get all the OCONUS perks, without really leaving the United States!

Patrick Air Force Base

Do you have a thing for space travel? Patrick Air Force Base south of Orlando, Fla., is perfect! This base operates Cape Canaveral, which supports space launches from the Kennedy Space Center.

As a bonus, Patrick AFB is located in southeastern Florida, within easy reach of the theme park center of Orlando. Plus, there are all the beaches and vacation destinations that will be super close to your new home!

Did we mention YOUR favorite military base? If we missed it, please let us know in the comments! Tell us where you loved being stationed and why.

11 Ways to Celebrate New Year’s Eve with Kids

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Sparkly dresses, champagne toasts at midnight and partying until the ball drops might be a thing of the past for parents. Unless you are ready to pay a hefty babysitter fee.

Luckily, you can still party like it’s 1999 with your kids! Well, maybe not quite that much fun, but pretty close.

Here are 11 ways to celebrate New Year’s Eve with your children.

Host a Kid-Friendly Soiree

Call up your other parent friends and invite them over for a fancy dress party. Serve finger foods like chicken nuggets and mini hot dogs, with champagne for the grown-ups and apple juice for the little ones.

Make Mocktails All Night Long

Older kids, and many adults, want to celebrate with fancy drinks but not the day-after results. Create fun mocktails with seltzer water, soda, fruit juice and garnishes. Make a mocktail of the hour and bust it out every 60 minutes. Check out these suggestions!

Celebrate a Different Midnight Ball Drop

The new year arrives at different times around the globe, which means that you don’t need to wait for midnight EST. Pick another location that matches your kiddo’s bedtime and roll with it! Live stream their celebrations, set the clocks ahead to match their time zone and blow your horns when the clock strikes midnight, over there. Kids get the fun of celebrating 2017, without staying up all night long.

Launch Sky Lanterns

Recreate the classic scene from the Disney movie “Tangled.” Sky lanterns symbolize hope and good wishes. They are perfect to ring in a new year! Have your kids write down their resolutions, wishes or prayers for 2017 and include them with the lantern. Then launch your lanterns as the sky is growing dark or just before bedtime. Make sure you are in a safe location and away from fire hazards. Check with your local fire department just in case.

Roast Marshmallows at a Christmas Tree Bonfire

What better way to get rid of a very dry Christmas tree than to have a bonfire! Gather up sticks and branches from the last winter storm or buy a few cords of wood. Invite your friends over to cook hot dogs and roast marshmallows over the flames. As a bonus, you’ll be nice and toasty while you enjoy some fresh air as 2016 ticks away. Just make sure you are following fire safety guidelines for your area!

Have an Epic Game Night

Bring out ALL the board games for one night of endless playtime. Make it a family affair or invite friends and neighbors over to play with you. Start with the classics and end with modern favorites or play games that you loved as a child. It’s a great chance to share memories and practice winning (and losing) with grace.

Invite Friends to Eat Around the World

New Year’s Eve at home is a great opportunity to try out all those Pinterest recipes you’ve been saving all year! Start early, with fun appetizers, and end with dessert just before bed. In between, try out recipes, tapas style, from around the world. Sushi from Japan, hummus and pita bread from the Middle East, bangers and mash from England, or poutine from Quebec.

To keep your New Year’s Eve menu kid-friendly, try serving Candy “Sushi” Fruit Roll Ups.

Go where your taste buds take you! If you’re really ambitious, you could attempt to coordinate a new food with when midnight arrives in that country or region.

If you’re not ambitious, you could order take-out from a variety of restaurants.

Snuggle on the Couch with a Classic Movie Night

Go with classic movies from the golden age of cinema or your favorite Disney movies as a kid or really any combination of movies you love. Snuggle up on the couch with popcorn, candy and pizza, then push play.

Celebrate Hannukah

The Jewish festival of lights ends on January 1, 2017. Celebrate hope and faith by lighting your own candles, menorah or sparklers. Play dreidel and eat delicious latkes or sufganiyot, a deep-fried doughnut filled with jelly or custard. Then initiate your children to the glory that is the “Hannukah Song” by Adam Sandler. Maybe edit out some of the more risque bits though.

Organize a Living Room Slumber Party

Set up sleeping bags, or make a tent out of blankets. Watch movies, play games and eat junk food until the kids fall asleep! Then you and your spouse can keep the party going, quietly, or can join your children in dreamland.

Make a Fancy First Breakfast

After all the celebrating the night before, refuel with a delicious breakfast on New Year’s Day! Go all out with pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, french toast and juice (or mimosas). While you eat, ask your family to talk about goals for the new year or remember their favorite parts of 2016.

How do you celebrate New Year’s Eve with your kids?

Why I Think Military Wives Are More Likely to Binge Drink

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Almost every military spouse I know indulges in wine, beer or liquor. Sometimes all 3. And we drink on the regular.

So the study from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) isn’t really a shock. SAMHSA found military wives are more likely to use and abuse alcohol than civilians. We’re only talking about wives because there were not a significant number of males who responded to the study.

The study found that 67.8% of responding military wives, ages 18-49, had used alcohol within a 30-day window. Among same age civilian women, 53.8% reported using alcohol. Military wives also tend to binge drink at higher rates than civilians, 31.5% compared to 22.7%.

The same study found that rates for illegal drug use were about the same for military wives and civilians, 12.8% compared to 12.9%. Military wives are less likely than civilians to use marijuana, 5.1% of military wives versus 8% of civilians.

The rates of drinking and drug use aren’t super surprising.

Our troops can’t use illegal drugs or even medical marijuana without risking their careers. Having a spouse that uses is not going to be looked on favorably. Especially since it’s been drilled into us that “our behavior reflects on our service member.” That’s for better or worse taken very seriously!

Drinking is an outlet for many service members and their spouses. It’s a way that we can unwind and escape reality for a little while. It’s almost taken for granted that booze is going to be consumed at military social gatherings. I don’t mean a six-pack either. We’re talking a keg.

For those who ARE taken back by these statistics, keep some things in mind.

We have been at war since 2001. That’s 15 straight years of combat deployments, extended overseas tours and knocks on the door. Put yourself in our collective shoes and try it on for size. Just for a day or a week.

You’re home, alone or with your children, and your spouse is a world away. You know he’s taking fire and if he’s not then someone else is engaged in battle. There is very little contact and every day brings news that another service member has been KIA. That next knock on the door could be at your house. Or your best friend’s house. Or someone in your neighborhood. It could be anyone and it’s going to be someone.

This is the reality that many military wives have been living for a decade and a half. We’ve been doing this back-to-back-to-back. And moving all over the globe, far from our own families and homes. Can I pour you a drink?

The operational tempo has impacted our mental health.

About 10% more military wives (29.1%) report mental health concerns than civilians (19.7%). No, there is no “official” correlation (yet) from the scientists who study these things. This is what I know.

It’s what I understand after moving 4 times in 8 years.

It’s how I felt during and after his year-long combat deployment.

What I know from having 2 children without my mother to lean on.

It’s what saying goodbye to countless friends does to a person.

It’s the experience of working so hard for a career or an education, just to have it yanked away because your husband got new orders or is deploying again.

Military life is not for the faint of heart and even the strongest of us can bend and break under the constant pressure.

It’s so easy to slip into a pattern of having a glass of wine at night, just to unwind or destress or relax. After a day of barely holding it together, it feels nice to have the world get a little fuzzy and rosé colored.

We are tightly wound.

So when we DO get the chance to let our hair down, it’s going to be epic. That means bar hopping, shots or even just one glass of wine too many. Our spouses are under a lot of pressure too. Plus, many units and bases have a culture of drinking, hard.

There are so many events that make drinking easier or even seemingly “required.” Birthday balls, homecomings, hail and farewell ceremonies, retirements, promotions and even just a neighborhood barbecue are all great excuses to drink. After all, it’s a party, right?

Alcohol is one of the leading ways that people self-medicate to deal with depression, anxiety or countless other mental health conditions.

So, a good time brings an excuse to let loose and to hide the way many military wives truly feel. For many of us, that good time comes with every girls night out, dinner with friends or Tuesday afternoon playdate.

We are young adults.

The SAMHSA study found that there were more military wives in the 18-25 age group than among most married women, ages 18-49. When many of our peers are off at college, we’re holding down on the homefront and managing a household. Having both done full-time college and run a household at a very young age, I can tell you that being an adult is harder than taking most college classes. There is no appealing the grade when you overdraw your checking account and can’t pay the electricity bill.

For many of us in the 18-25 age range, this is our first time away from home and cohabitating with another adult. We are young, immature in every sense of the word and still figuring it out. When you add in the other factors of stress, deployment and moving away from a support system, it’s no wonder that many young military wives drink.

Actually, college students drink heavily, too. And they are in that same 18-25 age bracket. Maybe the drinking isn’t quite so “shocking” when it’s framed that way instead.

Here’s take-away: military spouses drink and have mental health concerns, but we don’t do drugs.

It’s your turn: why do you think military wives are more likely to drink than their civilian counterparts?

Your CFC Questions Answered!

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The deadline for the Combined Federal Campaign is December 15, but many of you may still have questions. Luckily, we have the answers!

Who can donate through the CFC?

If you are a federal employee, government contractor, postal worker, service member or are retired from federal/postal or military service, you can donate!

How much or frequently can I donate?

You can give either as a one-time thing or through regular donations. Either way is completely fine!

How do I give?

You can donate either online or through a paper pledge form. Online donations can be made through payroll deductions, credit or debit card or an eCheck. Payroll deduction, cash or check is accepted when using a paper pledge form.

Your unit should have a CFC representative who can guide you through the process. If you need more help, contact support@cfcnca.org.

Are payroll deductions pre-tax?

You cannot make charitable contributions through payroll deductions pre-tax, per federal laws. However, you can claim these donations on your taxes.

Is there a minimum pledge amount?

For payroll deductions, you must give at least $1 per payroll period.

What if I want to cancel my donation?

Canceling a payroll deduction or recurring credit/debit card donation is the only change allowed outside of the pledge period. To cancel a payroll deduction, contact your payroll department and request that the allotment be stopped. To cancel a recurring credit card statement, call your credit or debit card company. You can get more information from support@cfcnca.org.

Can I give to more than one charity?

Yes! You can give to one specific charity, to specially chosen charities you select, to a group of charities or give to undesignated funds. You can search through the eligible charities at cfcnca.org. When giving to more than one charity, you can specify how much of your funds will be given to each charity. Undesignated funds will be equally allotted among all charities and federations.

Your CFC Questions Answered!

CFC is the largest and most successful yearly workplace charity program in the world.

I donated to the CFC last year. Do I need to make a new pledge?

Yes, donations are only good for one year. For each year that you wish to donate through the CFC, you will need to complete a new pledge form, either online or on paper.

What if I want to donate to a charity in a neighboring charity region?

Unfortunately, this is not allowed. You can only donate to national charities or local charities within your workplace CFC zone.

How do I get a copy of my contribution statement for taxes?

If you donated through a payroll deduction, you won’t receive a charitable contribution statement. Instead, you will need to compare your payroll deductions to the charities on your pledge form.

To find this, keep a copy of your pledge form. Then on your last leave and earning statement (LES) of the year, locate the deductions. Make sure the totals match, and bring both forms to your tax service or use them when you do your taxes.

For one-time donations on a debit or credit card, please keep the original receipt that was emailed to you. For recurring credit or debit donations, please save the original emailed receipt and your monthly credit/debit card statements.

If you donated through cash or check, please email finance@cfcnca.org to request a tax receipt.

Bring all of these documents with you when you do your taxes or have them handy at home, if you do your own taxes.

Why should I care about the CFC?

Over the last 55 years, more than $8 billion has been contributed to local and national charities. It is the largest and most successful yearly workplace charity program in the world. The donations made by federal, military and postal employees (and retirees) help support health and human services charities across America and around the world.

When does the contribution period end?

The deadline is rapidly approaching!

To pledge to a charity through the CFC this year, you must make your pledge by December 15.

Your workplace should have a local representative or point of contact who can guide you in making your donation. If you need more help, contact support@cfcnca.org.

What questions do you have about the CFC?

On-Site Sales Available to National Guard, Reserve

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The Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) recently announced that commissaries around the world are offering special benefits for National Guard and Reserve troops. These service members and their families, can take advantage of on-site and online sales through the holiday season. Sites run coast to coast within the United States, with 1 overseas location in Camp Fuji, Japan.

Essentially, this sales program for National Guard and Reserve is like a case lot sale.

Locations that don’t have a commissary will have special short-term sales. These sales will run through both Thanksgiving and the December holidays. While the items at each location may vary, families will be sure to find pantry and holiday favorites. Some of the featured items include: ham, canned fruits and veggies, turkey and snack items.

All eligible commissary beneficiaries can take advantage of this opportunity to stock up on pantry staples and special holiday foods!

However, this program is only being offered at specific locations and on a set number of dates. For information about each site, check out that commissary’s website or contact them via email or phone.

Pre-plan, Pre-order and Pre-pay for Your Holiday Meals

Some of these special sales are offering online pre-orders! That means your family can pick out your grocery items in advance, guaranteeing you that special treat you crave. You will pay for your groceries with a credit card when you place your order.

This online service has the potential to help military families with their holiday budgets. By pre-ordering and pre-paying for your holiday feast, you can get your budget ready for the holiday expenses early. Plus, you won’t be shocked by the cost of your feast!

Take Advantage of Your Commissary Benefits

For most active duty troops, using the commissary benefit is as easy as pie. With the local commissary minutes away from where you work, active duty families can snag cheaper groceries on a regular basis.

For National Guard or Reserve families, it can be harder to access this benefit. There are Guard and Reserve troops in every city and town nationwide. A fully functional base may be hours away!

When going to the grocery store is a full-day event, families might not use the commissary often. By bringing the commissary closer to home, National Guard and Reserve families can exercise their benefits more easily.

This can help trim the bottom line during the holidays too. The cost differences between shopping “out in town” at the local markets and the commissary can be as high as 40 percent! Those precious dollars could mean a huge budget difference for many military families.

On-Site Sales Aren’t Only for Guard and Reserve

Any authorized beneficiary can take advantage of this great offer! From active duty to retired, if you can shop at a commissary you can go to these on-site sales. This will help active duty service members at recruiting stations or located away from a major installation.

Retirees will also be able to come out and purchase their holiday feasts closer to their location.

DeCA May Gain New Customers

By bringing the commissary closer to Guard and Reserve service members, DeCA is spreading some holiday cheer and goodwill.

This shows a real effort by the agency to help all beneficiaries, in all locations.

Reduced hours and required furloughs have been hard for the last few years. For some families, that might have been a turn-off to shopping there.

This program will help to show a friendlier side to the commissary. With special events closer to home, more Guard and Reserve families are likely to shop there. These on-site sales extend the commissary benefits to more families and creates a positive feeling about DeCA with them.

What do you think of this pre-order, pre-pay program for National Guard and Reserve?

Military Savings at the Movies

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Between tickets, drinks and snacks, a night at the movies can really add up!

In some locations, tickets to first-run or special movies, like 3D or IMAX, can be upwards of $15 per person. A small popcorn is usually closer to $10 than to $5 and drinks are both giant in size and cost.

Military Savings at the Movies

What are your tips for military savings at the movies?

Luckily there are military savings to help you cut costs and still enjoy a fun day at the movie theater with your family.

Military Savings on Movie Tickets

The 4 major cinemas all offer military discounts. Don’t forget to show your military ID card when asking for a military discount.

  • Cinemark offers military discounts at several theaters. For specifics on discount times and amounts, contact the cinema closest to you.
  • Regal also offers a military discount. The discount amount and times that the discount is offered vary by location. It is recommended that you contact your local theater.
  • There is also a military discount at AMC theaters. The discount varies based on location and is only available after 4 p.m.
  • Showcase Cinemas has military tickets available at many locations starting at $7.50 for general admission and $5.50 for matinee and children’s tickets.

Military Savings on Movie Tickets Purchased at ITT

Beyond amazing trip packages and tickets to the big game, your on-base ITT (Information, Tickets and Travel) office also stocks discounted movie tickets. Like the cinema-run discounts, these military savings will vary by location.

Most bases offer passes that can be exchanged at the theater for tickets. There may be a few deal breakers, though. These passes might only be valid during certain times, for certain types of movies (regular vs 3D) and you might not be able to be used these discounted tickets on opening night or weekend.

So before you set your plans in stone, check the fine print!

Watch Movies at Your On-Post Theater

Watch a movie on base and save beaucoup bucks. Military theaters are located on most major installations.

Some locations have special screenings of popular films that have been previously released. Often these showings are free or very, very cheap.

Other locations show first-run movies around the same time they are released nationally. Tickets are heavily discounted (compared with a civilian movie theater) and so are the snacks.

When you see a movie on base, be prepared for things to be a little bit, shall we say, different. Before the movie starts, get ready to stand while the National Anthem is played. You might also want to bring a cushion. The seating tends to be on the uncomfortable side.

Showings and runs of films are very limited. If you find a time for a movie you want to see, you should go. It might not be playing next week or even tomorrow!

Check your local base theater’s schedule for show times and special events.

Sign Up for a Theater Loyalty Program

Another great option is to sign up for theater loyalty programs. These work like other retail shopping cards: the more you go, the more points you earn and the more freebies you get. Different theater chains offer different perks, but items can include free snacks or drinks and even cheaper movie tickets.

While some theater chains only offer discounts for evening shows, other theaters might be willing to combine discounts. By going to a matinee showing in the late morning or afternoon, you might be able to save even more. For theaters that don’t double dip the discount, these early showings are usually several dollars cheaper. That makes it a smart budget choice.

No matter where you live or what movie you want to see tonight, there is probably a military discount available to you! Be sure to check around before you head out the door so that you get the best deal.

What are your tips for military savings at the movies?