My husband and I do our grocery shopping at the commissary. We’re close enough to the post and we see a lot of benefits to shopping there, especially as newlyweds.
Now at the height of the holiday season, the commissary has been getting noticeably chaotic. With all the craziness, it’s easier for people to get short tempered and frustrated. But, let’s not forget what the holiday season means to us. It’s a time to be giving and kind.
As we shop in the commissary there are a handful of unwritten rules that keeps our shopping experience in line.
Instead of dismissing the shoppers that are committing commissary faux pas, refer to the spirit of the holidays and shop in harmony. There are ways to make sure your commissary experience doesn’t turn into a battle.
Faux Pas #1: Wearing Pajamas, Spandex. There is a dress code for shopping on base or post. My husband shared it with me early on when I suggested that we swing by the commissary right after a workout. It’s frowned upon to show up wearing work-out gear as well as pajamas or other risque clothing. Because there are rules, doesn’t mean everyone will abide by them. I always find someone wearing sweatpants or pajamas at the commissary. Well, I have no right to snicker at them or turn my nose. I have no idea how their day went. We’re all in the commissary on a mission. No need to get judgemental. We’ve all had rough days.
Faux Pas #2: Weaving Around the Aisle. When you decide to shop at the commissary, it’s a given that it will take time. My husband and I plan our trips, so we can make the best use of our time and I always walk in with a list. There is always somebody rushing back and forth between the aisles. As a result, that person is making it a bit harder for others to navigate. I practice the rule of the road and leave my cart and drive to the very right. If I need something to the left, I leave it there and just move myself to grab the item.
When we all stay right, it gives the speedracers some room and we all benefit.
Faux Pas #3: Hovering over the Ground Beef. Meat at the commissary is cheaper than other groceries stores and there is always a good amount of people in the meat section. After my father separated from the military, my parents would still make the trip to drive on-base to stock up on meat (weird, I know). The worst is when people would just stand at the same spot for what seems like forever. Instead of getting heated, take a deep breath and kindly ask to reach over or if they seem like they need help, open your mouth and see if there is anything you can do. A little goes a long way, so pay it forward.
Faux Pas #4: Ordering Countless Pounds of Deli Meat. There is always someone in line at the deli counter. My husband dreads going, but he loves his turkey and ham sandwiches for lunch. It’s really a struggle to get him to wait because he gets so impatient when there someone ordering 10 different kinds of deli product and having them slice pounds and pounds of it. Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. If he wants his sandwiches, he’ll have to wait. So, we tag team to make sure we get the most out of our visit. I continue checking off the items on our list, while he’s there. Also, our commissary pre-slices certain meats and cheeses for smaller families, so we’ll opt to do that sometimes.
Faux Pas #5: Shopping with Your Troupe of Kiddos. My husband and I don’t have children yet so, I can’t really relate with the moms and dads that have to bring their kids to the commissary. From my experience, I’ve had to dodge running toddlers and weary parents as they try to do their grocery shopping with kids. I take things with a grain of salt and understanding. I can’t imagine how difficult it may be to arrange childcare and then have to be responsible for groceries for your family. I’m sure the parents of the world get it and us disgruntled newlyweds have to exercise our patience.
Get back to me when you have shopped at the commissary, my 10th one since 1970. I’m sure these “suggestions” will be as useless to you then as they are to me now.
I used to live 0.7 miles from the gate and could stop at the Commissary almost daily. I am now a 6 hour round trip and must make the most of it to make the time and gas pay off. Guess what? Many people make long trips once or twice a year. I very well may make the most of it and buy 30 pounds of various deli meats. I will divide them into smaller packs, freeze them, and use them over the next 6 to 9 months. I take too long at the ground beef? Maybe I m looking for all the packets that are close to being an even 1 or 2 pounds to cut down on having to weight and repackage when I get home. Not too many recipies ask for 3.61 pounds. I will go with my wife and may dart about as we try to find stuff. Going only once or twice a year, we do not know where all the stuff is now. Stores change up the layout sometimes, if you had not noticed. You go right ahead and wear anything legal you choose. I do not go to the commissary for fashion show and will never notice or care. If you saw a dress code, you have better eyes than I do. I have only been using these stores since 1970.
Lmao this is a joke right? Next you’re going to tell me to stand at parade rest when I talk to an officers wife.
Is this satire? Or are yoy really this stupid?
This article is ridiculous and insulting. So what if I have my kids with me. They help and grab the items, follow behind me and when your husband is deployed, they go everywhere you go. I could care less how long someone is standing at the meat aisle. Take all the time you need. If I need something I say excuse me, grab what I need and keep going. My Mom works at the Deli at Pearl Harbor and they love when people order lots of meat. They have a certain amount they like to reach in sales and are happy to serve the meat and not have to throw it out. I see people weaving all the time who are in a rush, but it is a military base for Pete’s sake, someone is always in a rush. Especially those who only have 20 minutes of a lunch break to run in, try and remember what they need and run back out. Ohh and as for that dress code, another remember, people come in their workout clothes all the time. Our commissary does not have a listed dress code, I have looked and it may be posted at other bases. I am guessing you took your information from another military shoppers article that was posted a while back.. Military shoppers please do us a favor and find a more experienced blogger to write an article. These so called faux pas are pathetic.
I am former USAF, my hubby is retired USAF, I have shopped at our commissary for about 36 years now. I have NEVER seen a “dress code” and I even asked my daughter in law about this as my son is a retired Marine. She laughed and said I never saw one either! As for parking the cart, it doesn’t do well here either, too many people to park it and shop. They have express time for military in uniform, and this I agree with I myself have used it a few times. The only thing I have ever disliked is the way some officers wives think they are above and beyond reproach. I have been surprised at the attitude you get with some of them. We are all there for the same cause food…..
Really, you don’t need to start another divisive issue by bagging on officer wives.
I spent 12 years enlisted and another 15 as an officer, and I can tell you there are jerk entitled spouses (male and female) on both sides. Don’t allow other spouses to push you around regardless of rank…don’t give them the power.
When I was a one-strip Airman, my wife went toe to toe with the base commander’s wife while working with the Red Cross; I was and am proud of her for standing up for herself. Not saying I haven’t seen some real tools out there, just don’t mind them.
Wow!!!
Think you need to calm down a bit. That was a real rant over something
that was supposed to lite and make you smile.
I wish there was an ADULT only day so I could shop without a bunch of kids into everything. I won’t say that though because it would be impolite to all the parents who have no place else for their offspring while they shop.
Please, loosen up a bit. We are need to relax and leave the seriousness for our work periods.
Happy 2015.
Bill
You young lady are quite the elitist. Forbid that we lowly minions disrupt your shopping experience. You have a lot if growing up to do if you judge people by these standards.
I guess you have found your niche in life- being a complainer.
These young people don’t know how easy they have it. When my children were little (pre-school), children were not allowed in the commissary…you had to leave them in a child care situation & pay a minimal amount. They were not always very clean & I didn’t like leaving them there to exchange germs & bugs. Check-out lines were at least three times as long as I encounter now. Commissaries were much smaller, had no deli’s, bakeries, & accommodations as they now have. Carts were much smaller, rusty, & ready for the dump. I’ve been shopping at the current store since 1971, so I’ve been a customer longer than some of the employees have been there. I began as a newly-wed in 1951, so I really appreciate the changes that have been made to accommodate shoppers, making it a more pleasant experience. I think that if you would change your attitude to gratitude, these small inconveniences would not lead to stress & complaints. When I see what my daughters have to pay “on the outside” I am so happy I have the privilege to shop at the commissary. Happy New Year, may 2015 be your best year yet.
I Don’t shop during these hectic times.
I thought MilitaryShoppers.com was supposed to HELP and SUPPORT military shoppers, not attack them first thing in the morning when they check their email. This article is offensive, absolutely NOT helpful or supportive, and could actually be HARMFUL to those people who are doing their best to cope with the challenges of military life, for instance: women whose husband’s have been deployed shortly after they have been PCSed to a place where they have no support system. It’s hard enough trying to shop with a “troupe of kiddos” without being told point blank that you are bothering the other patrons. How about an article on showing compassion to those you come into contact with even if you don’t personally understand their struggles?
This article is ridiculous. I can’t help but notice that with each “faux pas”, the author tries to make her complaints sound nicer by saying things like “no need to get judgemental” ..all while being extremely judgemental. Don’t bring the kids to the store. Don’t take too long to make a decision and make me wait. Don’t order too much food and make me wait. Honestly, when I go to the commissary or any grocery store, I expect there to be other people there that I have to work around – it’s called life. Say excuse me, get what you need, be mindful of others and go about your day. Kind of like you have to do everywhere.
Using commissary since 1958. We travel 158 miles one way to RSA commissary an outstanding managed, clean, well-stocked and helpful workers. We need to support and defend the commissaries, they are trying to take them away also. You will see as you acquire more time shopping at the commissary it is not a local market nor a supermarket. But a benefit that we all served for to receive, we will keep this benefit by support and using it, the more the better no matter now dressed, how they shop or how long it takes them. I feel it would help if you would be more tolerable with the customers that use the commissary. Remember the benefit is for all services, all ranks and all authorize dependents. With shopping experience it will get better.
Happy New Year
Brownboot
This is so disrespectful to so many groups of people I can’t even believe it’s still online. Wow.
I have been shopping in commissaries for 49 years. We were informed of a dress code in the early days, I have seen this dress code evaporate, but for the most part, customers dress nicely. This lady seems out of touch with the real world of commissary shopping.
Wow! Just wow! Shopping with kids at the commissary is a faux pas? First of all, you are not using faux pas correctly. Faux pas means an embarrassing or tactless act or remark in a social situation.
As a parent I am not embarrassed by my children but strive to teach them how to become response adults. Taking them out to learn how to grocery shop is essential to that goal.
So glad you have feelings for the countless families with a deployed member who don’t have the luxury of shopping alone. I hope you never spend a holiday away from those you love or, God forbid, have to take your children to the store with you. Maybe next time try and offer a little grace to the parent that’s been alone for the last 10 months with the kids and is trying to make healthy choices for their family, every two weeks for all those months. A little kindness goes a long way. Stocking up is preferable when you are toting small children than having to drag them along time.
Since you are a newlywed, you may not be aware that retirees get paid on the first – so don’t go near that date. It’s always busy. Also avoid the 15th, when everyone else is shopping. Pay days are super busy. If you really want the best time to go without kids, try a Monday, Wed or Friday morning (not on payday) – that’s when most little ones are in preschool. Also, if you have to take your newborn, good luck planning that trip between feedings. Otherwise, check back in with the rest of us after 10+ years and a couple of kids! Some of my trips have been made wonderful by those who served before my husband – love hearing their old stories! Keeps the tradition alive.
Apparently the author is not in possession of patience, kindness, and manners. So sorry that everyone else is an inconvenience to you, but I’m glad you and your husband are suffering for the harmony of others. How about we forget our self importance and busyness and expect others to take their time and make careful choices? You are not entitled to not have to wait. Oh, and children also have every right to learn how to be adults by learning how to select and purchase food and behave in a public place (mistakes and all).
You know, instead of passing judgement and bringing others down why couldn’t you have written a more encouraging post? Many of us in the military are scrutinized anyway but you just succeeded at adding to it.
Maybe you should’ve written something like this: 5 tips for a more positive experience at the commissary.
1. Do your best to be polite. A kind ‘excuse me’ and ‘thank you’ goes a long way.
2. Shop during off-peak hours if possible. I have found that weekday mornings and non-paydays are good if you want to avoid crowds.
3. Place your deli order first thing and shop while you wait. Many commissaries have deli kiosks now and you can be notified via text when your order is ready. If your commissary doesn’t have a kiosk ask if they can get one.
4. When a toddler bumps into you try to be helpful to that Mom or Dad by guiding them back to their parent(s). Some of those folks have deployed spouses and the last thing they need is a condescending glance.
5. Practice patience. You have no idea what is going on in the lives of the people around you. Try to remember that.
You’re young and inexperienced. I get that. But the last thing you need is to tick off the community of people who consider themselves your 2nd family.
This is apparently 5 faux pas for the perfect world that we don’t live in. Here are 5 faux pas for the rest of us.
Faux pas 1. Don’t go naked: As long as you are not naked or near naked, this is the land of the free, wear what you are comfortable in or what necessity dictates.
Faux pas 2. Oblivious navigation: What causes most traffic problems in the isle is obliviously blocking the isle or being oblivious to others trying to maneuver around you, other than that you should be fine in how you navigate the store..
Faux pas 3. Zoning out: Take the time required to find what you need or just what you are looking for, just don’t zone out and forget what you’re doing.
Faux pas 4. Being impatient at the deli counter: If someone is ordering a lot it is likely they have a good reason and unlikely they are just being whimsical about what they are getting.
Faux pas 5. Don’t lack empathy for parents: Yes it can be a little irritating dodging the odd rug rat, but I understand it is unlikely that they would bring them unless they had to, I raise a few of my own so believe me I empathize with parents that have to drag the sometimes unruly kids along to get the shopping done.
These seem more like your pet peeves as a newly wed rather than real faux pas. Tell the new mother with a newborn she can’t come to the commissary in her sweats when it is all that fits her after giving birth. Or tell that retired senior he is lingering too long at the meat section? Really?? Bc you’re in such a rush? Just say excuse me, grab what you need and move on. And shopping with your kiddos is a must, especially with deployed spouses or even during the holidays bc there is no school! A babysitter for grocery shopping? Puh-lease…like I can afford a babysitter every week for that ON TOP of the ones we get for our dates. This article actually is quite insulting and offending. You talk of the real holiday spirit but all I hear is whining as your faux pas.
I go early in the morning when it is less crowded. There is only two things that bother me. One is that items run out and aren’t re-ordered or they are moved to a new location and no one is around to ask where they have been moved to. The second one is Screaming kids uncontrolled by their parents. I have had young ones and they either behaved or out side we went to correct the problem.
This article is unnecessary and insensitive, one’s attire has never disrupted my shopping experience, Children (however many) should always be welcome. And cattle are herded at the farm, NOT the commissary. I’ll take my time choosing a cut of meat. To whomever wrote this article, thanks for the laugh, because it’s a joke.
Most here don’t remember when there was discipline in the military. Those were the good old days. My son complained about having to stand duty once every three months. I stood port and starboard when I was active duty. Life in the military is different now. We need to adjust or shop at Walmart.
Wow, you would think with a BA in communication studies and working as a public relations professional, you would have at least learned how not to write a polarizing article and piss-off the majority of your readers or at least all of those who commented on your ridiculous “advice”!
I have been shopping in commissaries for 18 years now since I was a newlywed myself and try as I may to accommodate disgruntled newlyweds (read as sarcasm) but sometimes I am unable to do so and must commit you’re “faux-pas # 5” and shop with my “troupe of kiddos.” Riddle me this newlywed, what am I to do with said kiddos when my husband is deployed or just working late or even a normal day for that matter and I need to run out to the commissary at a time which accomodates my entire family’s schedule, so that they don’t get in your way? My nearest family is over 1000 miles away so having them watch my kids while I go grocery shopping is not a viable option. Seeing how I am shopping at the commissary to save money why would I pay someone to babysit while doing so? Or maybe I want to teach my kiddos how to make wise choices in regards to nutrition and budgeting, and teach my toddlers about sizes, sorting, colors, shapes, vocabulary, math, and a host of other life skills all while teaching them to be productive and polite members of society and to do their part as members of a family.
I hope one day you and your husband have your own “troupe of kiddos” trailing you as you shop and you look back on and recall your naiveté and eat your words and at least in your mind apologize to all those you offended with your asinine article.
Oh, and by the way, look around, lots of retirees make the trip to drive back on-base to stock up on whatever they want to there. It’s one of their benefits as well as yours and mine, they earned it along with your freedom (it’s just a little token of so much more they deserve) so at least give them the respect they deserve instead of calling them weird.
Wow, this is the most offensive, entitled post I’ve seen in a while. I’m a newly minted retiree with about 3 decades of active duty commissary shopping under my belt both overseas and stateside.
These are ridiculous.
(1) How does what someone wearing have to do with commissary congestion, nothing unless an elitist attitude causes you convulsions. Mind your own business; that’s a better rule to speed things up.
(2) Weaving??? I guess you missed the days when all the aisles had arrows on them. Biggest problem is the constant movement of items and poor placement (yeah Quantico I’m talking about you…why are cat and dog foods several aisles apart?). Maybe you could help them find what they are looking for.
(3) Impatient…why are they standing over the meat (or other items)? Maybe comparing prices. If you have enough money to ignore prices or qualities of meat then maybe you can shop elsewhere to save some “Commissary Congestion” as you call it. You said you offer to help if someone is in a place too long, I suppose you feel you know better than others about time limits for comparing products and other details. Maybe your interference is causing “Commissary Congestion.” Just pardon your reach and they’ll move long enough for you to grab what you need since your time is most important.
(4) I don’t think your husband is the impatient one. I buy 5 or six meats and several cheeses; I guess I’m in your way. By the way, I do all the commissary shopping since my wife doesn’t drive into DC, and I do by myself. Is there a limit? Should people be forced to buy a small amount several times? A better suggestion would be to have the deli counter accept order forms for you to return to pick up your order (some commissaries already do this). Maybe they can give you a special card so you don’t have to wait like others.
(5) Try taking care of the kids while your spouse is deployed. Most junior service members don’t have money to put the kids in daycare while mom leisurely shops. You said, “us disgruntled newlyweds have to exercise our patience.” First, “we” not “us.” You admit you don’t understand what it’s like to have kids. I raised 3 and took them to the commissary regularly. Sure there is the odd parent who doesn’t watch their child perfectly. There are also childless couples who demonstrate excessive intolerance for those with kids instead of minding their own business and focusing on shopping for themselves.
How are your comments helpful? Offer real suggestions, not complaints. You admit you are new at this…maybe those with kids are a little more experienced than you. What did your dad say about this article? My AF brats seem to understand the commissary better than you despite your claim to be an AF brat.
My apologies for being snarky, but your article is offensive and naive. Military Shoppers should be ashamed having this post published worldwide.
You missed the boat completely. The biggest faux pas at the commissary are those people that place their shopping carts along side the meat aisle so other shoppers cannot get to the meat to make their selection. I don’t care how long someone takes to make their selection, just don’t use your cart to keep me from making mine.
I usually go do the shopping every two or three weeks with my wife. During the time period from November 1 to January 3 or 4. I just don’t go with her.
It is far easier for her alone that with me along buying a bunch of extra stuff or complaining about the prices.
I like our Commissary the rest of the year and don’t mind carrying all the bags into the house. I’m not allowed to put anything away. My Wife thinks I don’t know where stuff goes.
I hope that 2015 is a good year for everyone.
To add to my previous comment, I would say this article seems to be more about telling the reader how to make it easier for her (and others like her) rather than hints to make it easier for the average reader. It comes off as self serving rather than helpful advice, it’s as if the author is saying “I don’t like what you’re doing, here’s how to make it better for me” that what it comes off as. The best advice for the author is they need to understand their audience better, consider them not yourself.
I don’t blame the author for this article. Militaryshoppers.com shouldn’t have hired someone so “green” to write for them. She may be professionally qualified for this job but lacks in real world experience. Next time look for the military spouse with 10+ years and a couple of deployments under his/her belt!
This is the most ridiculous article I’ve ever read. I go to the commie in my work out gear all the time. I work out every day and i also do all of the shopping and cooking for my family. As for the weaving, hovering and deli meat ordering, whatever, it’s just lile any other store. No special rules.
WOW!!!! Well, first off, I remember shopping with my mother when I was a kid. I remember the one way arrows up and down the aisles, and the “cart parking” for the meat sections. There has never been a dress code as far as I know but if there was……just not naked is all I ask. God forbid you have to get some stuff and you are by yourself with multiple sick kids and you have been up for 4 days straight, and you want to make sure to “not be all judgmental” because someone looks like hell.
Now as a mil spouse, I take my 2 autistic kids with me shopping if I need to. Sometimes they are a bit unruly but the shopping still needs done and hubby being gone and no family to help out you have to do what you have to do. If someone wants to order the entire deli counter let them! For real, you are so out of touch I am almost amazed.
One day you will be embarrassed by what you wrote because you yourself will break all of your “faux pas”. You are obviously young and inexperienced. Why dont you update us on your list in like 10 years.
My biggest commissary pet peeve: couples who shop together. It ain’t date night! 😉
I stopped reading after “sweatpants are risque”. Please stop writing this garbage. Get a life. You and your husband need to stop acting like your crap doesn’t stink.