My husband and I meet 1993 in Germany where he was serving his country. In March 1994 we got married and shortly after we found out we were pregnant. Our dreams and hopes for our precious little baby were shatterd. Jaqueline was stillborn. Born January 4, 1995 in my 7th month. Shortly after her death and funeral we received orders for Ft. Polk. 6 months after Jaquelines death we were expecting again. And again we lost our baby. This time in my 4th month on October 3, 1995. We never found in our heart to name our misscarriage so we just refer to our 2nd born as baby Newlands. Shortly after baby's death we received orders for Ft. Campbell. In June 1998 we received the good news that we were pregnant again. The doctors keept me under close watch but again we lost our baby. Sarah was born Dec. 26, 1998 and died January 3, 1999. Sarah was born in my 6th month weighing only 12 oz and with a length of only 11 1/4 inch. She was so tiny that my husbands weddingband fit around her arm. All our angels are in heaven and are watching over us. September 21, 2001 we received a baby boy we named Sean-Michael. Sean was not growing under my heart but grew in our hearts quick. We adopted the little sunshine. Seans Birthparents choosed us to be his parents. We were fortuned enough to know these people. I have worked for his birthmother for years. She was unable to provide a home for him and she knew he would have heaven on earth with us. I was there when he was born holding his birthmothers hand. 7 months after his birth the adoption was final. Not one day goes by I don't think of our little angels in heaven and thank them for the greatest gift of knowing them. Our children were never able to feel our love and touch for a long time but are now able to watch their brother grow and receive a shared love and a shared touch. Every minute we are with Sean we are also with our girls. There is a saying :Grief can make you a bitter person or a better person. I believe it made me a better and stronger person. A lot of people supported us through our tough times. The military was there all the time. The funeral cost for our children were paid for. We had after care by our chaplain and the FRG. I still attend a Support Group on Ft. Campbell. Even with Sean on my side I'll never forget the 3 Angels who are now watching over all of us. If you are in a simular situation - don't give up. There is hope. Sometimes it takes just a little longer. God bless